Ok, the first time it happened I noticed. the second time, with the same person, months later. Well, now I’m just plain curious.
Last Fall a woman I work with and I attended a business dinner at the country club. I arrived late to the meeting so when I sat down, everyone was already out of small talk mode and the meeting was in progress. I smiled at the woman, she smiled at me.
And out of nowhere, I suddenly had the inclination that she was engaged. Of course, this would not be a surprise. She is in her late 20s, been dating the nice boy and living together for a while, it is something no one would be surprised to find out. But it just hit me that it happened. I wouldn’t have known, we are friends on Facebook but she really doesn’t post too many personal things. Again, it was just something I knew. As in I had a dream about it the night before and it was so.
This idea totally preoccupied me during the meeting. I knew I didn’t have a dream about her getting engaged, but how weird would it be to just come out and ask her? How weird would it be to (stretch the truth) and say “hey, I had a dream you got engaged last night.” Not quite as weird as JUST KNOWING, right? Still, weird.
The meeting went on for about 30 more minutes and I decided to not say anything. I’ve been a single woman with people asking, I know how it can annoy. Someone else came over to her and gave her a hug and I heard a “congratulations” and then saw the woman hold out her hand.
Surprise! I broke in right away, I’m sure being an annoying interrupter but I couldn’t believe it! Turns out it had just happened over the weekend and not many people actually knew yet.
Somehow, I knew. So weird. So, so so so so weird. Again, not something completely out of the blue for her to be engaged, but for me to just FEEL IT at the moment she and I sat next to each other made me wonder how many other times this has happened in my life when I wasn’t paying attention and listening.
Fast forward to this past week.
I’m at home working and I get a text from the same woman saying “can I ask a favor?”
My brain instantly went to “she is going to ask to use me as a reference.”
Nyah, that’s not it. She probably wants me to tape a meeting for her that she isn’t going to be at. Yeah, that’s it.
It wouldn’t be a surprise for her to ask me a work question by text. But I didn’t think that was what it was about.
And LO and behold, it wasn’t. Her next few texts said she was applying for something, saw I knew the company on Linkedin and wanted to know if she could put me as a reference.
Going back to the “yeah, yeah, this could happen to anyone…” idea in my head, it isn’t a surprise she would be considering another position (aren’t we all?) And it wouldn’t be unusual for her to ask me in the first place. But as I read that text my brain instantly went—-right there.
And while this is a coincidence that can happen with many…this was the second time it happened with this particular woman. Which is why I was so weirded out. Just knowing. Somehow, I just knew.
Now I sit here and I wonder how many times I have these moments in life and I disregard them, or talk myself out of them. Do these things happen to everyone? Of course from time to time. Could they happen to others more frequently? Sure. I suppose.
I did notice that my preprogrammed brain instantly goes to the actual thought (which is correct) and then BAM—in a flash tells me that it can be that and it is probably this…in a blink of a second. As if I’m trying to tell myself that I don’t really know and I shouldn’t trust myself—that voice, fleeting.
It’s something I am certainly going to keep an eye out for more often.
I mean, it happens ALL THE TIME where I say “I haven’t heard from so-and-so in a while” and then within minutes I get a text from that person or they walk in the office. All the time. Too many times to count and I know this and pay attention when it is people I’m close to like, my Husband….or Colleen.
It happens when I say out loud “man, I get 27 catalogs from Oriental Trading in the mail I wish it would stop” and then an hour later there’s a sales call, from Oriental Trading.
I guess this situation feels different because for once it’s not coming from me first. The feeling comes when I hear/sit by this woman—-and then the thought. In previous examples above, I lead…my brain thinks something and then something confirms.
Funny, when this happened the other day I was more freaked out about it. I messaged Colleen and she said “welcome to my world.” (Which was NOT comforting by the way…) bcause the next thing my gut and mind says is I DON’T WANT THIS ARUGH.
I still have to do some work on the accepting part you see…
And now that I tool the time to write this out, it feels silly and petty. And not much of anything.