I dunno. I feel really weird even writing this but I feel like I would be hiding something from my eventual journey if I don’t. So basically what I’m trying to say is this feels like I’m overthinking everything at this point, but…but…what if, just what if I’m not?
Deep breath. Here I go. (Why am I so hesitant? Am I reaching and trying too hard with this interpretation? Only time will tell.
- Vertigo. My mom apparently was complaining about vertigo. The doctor prescribed a med for her for this problem, which she had a physical reaction to and this led to drama this week. I believe it was Thursday, right after lunch while I was sitting on her bed, I stood up and had SERIOUS vertigo out of nowhere. Almost knock me out head felt like it was moving side to side vertigo. I’ve experienced this before in my life, but this was just so random. I laughed it off at the time and said out loud to mom “whoa, I’m dizzy, looks like I took your vertigo away from you today.” My question is…did I? Could I? IS THIS POSSIBLE? Am I just feeling what she is feeling physically? AND HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? It went away in about 10 minutes and didn’t come back.
- Earlier this week I woke up two days in a row with that unmistakable dull ache in my chest that signals a chest cold coming on. Dear God No. I’ve been spending time at the nursing home so this wouldn’t surprise me but, no. NO NO NO. I made sure to take a few extra Vitamin C tablets and hoped for the best. Hoped even more that this didn’t mean my mom was getting sick. Because that is all she needs right now. The feeling went away Thursday…right when mom’s roommate started feeling sick. The sick feeling on Thursday has turned into a full-on chest cold and she was really not looking too good this afternoon. My heart goes out to her, she is already bedridden and needs help to even get on a bed pan. Having a cough and a chest cold is just devastating to her. And yeah, selfishly I do worry about my mom catching it too, but honestly I’m more worried about her getting better. Is it possible that I was feeling this as a reading of what was come? My body was feeling the chest cold which never came to me, but was coming to the roommate? Is this possible? Me feeling something that is going to happen to someone else? I just don’t know, but it feels strange to me so I thought I would at least write it down in case it happens again.
The mom, vertigo story—-I’m more inclined to believe since I know the emotional/spiritual cords between us are strong, but the roommate chest cold? That’s just me overthinking—-and fingers crossed the vitamin C working.
Am I crazy? Am I overthinking?