Guidance

I blogged the other day about using Chakra cards as a sort of tool to guide my thoughts at any given point in time.

The thing about using ANYTHING as a TOOL is that there’s no black/white answer in front of you when using it…it’s always based on YOUR interpretation at that precise moment. I could pull out a card that gives me a message like “DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE TODAY” and I could share this same card with someone close to me who would look at it, knowing my current situation and say, um, no that’s not what I think it says at all. Ultimately it’s how you, yourself interpret these things.

Tarot Cards, Horoscopes, Number Signs, Song on a Radio etc…all a matter of personal interpretation and whether or not you can make it relate to your life at that moment. Or not.

Sometimes it’s not. But it gives you something, somewhere else to think about that you might not know you needed to consider.

This morning when I went to pull cards I had very specific intentions. I was excited when I learned a workshop on EFT was being held this week and had planned on attending. Until I woke up this morning. Groggy and grumpy and grey once again. I’m worried about getting sick and trying super hard to take extra time for myself and get rest, but in reality I’m also just well, wondering if I should flake out on the class. I can come up with a million excuses. Time, money…a friend from out of town is supposed to be coming over tonight…I have two other meetings in town I could attend… none of them good enough.

The card I pulled for guidance on this issue? PERCEPTION.

“…follow through on whatever is before us, going back is not an option.”

GULP. I read those words, laughed out loud and felt a slight shift in my gut. Ok, I should stick with it. I should go. (Mind you I did not have the spiritual confirming CHILLS I get when I KNOW what I’m saying/thinking is spot on…) And who is to say that this doesn’t mean follow through on listening to my inner voice that wants to stay home—the one I’ve been working on and following through with lately? All in how you read the words at that moment in time.

I later check my email and see the Daily Om Horoscope. I haven’t opened my horoscope in a while, but today I clicked on anyhow. Tempo Of Your Spirit

The hectic pace of your life may make you feel like withdrawing from the world and remaining in the comfort of your home today. If you can understand that your desire to escape from your usual routine to rest and take care of yourself is a positive response to the stress in your life, you might find it easier to set aside some quiet time for healing and reflection today.

Ah ha! Confirmation! I should skip the class tonight. I usually thrive in the hectic place of life…and I’ve been hiding from it lately. Tonight, I have a board meeting I could attend (but am trying to get away from since I said I wasn’t going to be the Secretary back in November and somehow I’m still being looked upon for answers.) Or the Historical Society meeting tonight. In addition to the class I wanted to attend. And meeting up with a friend (maybe) after the clase. And our friend Alaska Joe is coming into town tonight. THIS is how my schedule looks more often than not and it’s up to me to make one over another a priority.

Ha. See what I mean? How one tool can lead in one direction and another in the opposite?

I then pulled another card, specifically asking about my tentative plans I’ve made with friends for the evening and tomorrow afternoon and evening, that card was GRATITUDE.

There is no mystery to being a good person. Good people just do good things.

Sigh. I need to keep my commitments, I’m not a good person.

Ok, moving along………..

I’m crawling out of my latest depression episode. I’ve been feeling not so great the last few days physically, slept until noon yesterday (not because of depression.) Although I normally DO resemble the “hectic pace of your life” phrase, I’m not exactly there right now, however this is the first week that I started scheduling and making appointments outside of what I ABSOLUTELY NEEDED TO DO AND THAT’S IT. Meaning, taking a class. Scheduling friend time after a class. Scheduling a tentative late lunch with a friend. Scheduling a dinner with a friend. Scheduling possible hanging out time with a friend for the weekend and then realizing after she said she had family stuff the whole time that it is EASTER weekend and I’ve been so out of it I didn’t even realize. Oops.

OOPS. TOO MUCH TOO SOON. RETREAT RETREAT RETREAT. Good thing these friends above are GOOD friends and they know me and know that I also mentioned TENTATIVE plans for the week.

As I reread the GRATITUDE card I pulled from this morning I’m now reading the message completely different. At the time (GUILT FEELING LIKE A BAD PERSON FOR KNOWING I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF MY SELF FIRST) Plus, I just don’t freaking feel good. I decided I wasn’t going to go to the class tonight and see my friend Jenn. (I’m probably heading straight to bed after work) but what about tomorrow? I had a late lunch and a dinner planned with two different friends. ALSO WHAT AM I THINKING? I’M not out in the world for a month and then I plan a million I miss you get togethers back to back the one day I’m starting to feel better. Ah, to be me.

Anyhow, where was I? Rereading the card I see this on the very bottom under meditation.

For the next 10 days, spend a few minutes each day making a gratitude list. Do not look at the previous day’s list when you begin each day. At the end of the 10 days, read all the lists. Notice what keeps coming up. Are you on your list?

ARE YOU ON YOUR LIST?

Wow.

Message received. I’m grateful to have amazing friends in my life who understand and love and support me. They will be there next week and the week after and the month after and the year after. I need to stop beating myself up.

Me, Myself and I. (Ugh.) And I wonder why I keep pulling the GUILT card? Ha.

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Guidance

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